What happened next?

So I carried on going to church, I felt that it was my duty to stay strong because I had a calling. I couldn't let my nursery children down. So I carried on going to activities and trying to make new friends. I even went to the YSA convention in 2009. I was hoping to feel something there, but still nothing. By the beginning of 2010 I was made redundant. I got myself in a rut once again, I felt like I had nothing to wake up to. The only reason I'd go to was church and was only for my nursery children. I stopped going to YSA activities. I felt worthless. I felt like I had nothing to offer the world. I was in a very dark place. I did the job search, but still nothing. 
My Mum was starting to get concerned and she just wanted me to get out of the house. So she sent me to stay with one of my brother for a month. This did me alot of good, it got me out of the house and I was able to see my brother and his family who I don't see very often. I had the chance to go to Sunday school, which I hadn't been to in over a year because of nursery. I even think I felt the spirit. Well I was definitely uplifted and I hadn't felt like that in such a long time. I even did some work down there. I was starting to feel that worth again. 
When I got back I promised myself to not get myself in that mess again and that I would try to do more things in my life even though I didn't have a job. I went to Young Womens camp as a councilor.  I loved every minute. I loved getting to know everyone there. We had so much fun. I decided then that I wanted to try in the church and try to feel something. I went to YSA convention in 2010. I tried my best to make new friends and to get in touch with the spirit. But I just couldn't get anything. I felt nothing, I didn't feel good or bad. I felt numb. But I desperately wanted to feel something. So I got myself fully involved in activities. I went to institute and Church every week. But still nothing. Still numbness. In the new year I got released from my calling. But since then I have only been to church once. I just feel so suffocated there. I wonder if I would have been active in the church if I hadn't had that calling in the first place. Now I am facing all these questions and confusion. I am no longer going to sit back and feel numb and not address these feelings. I need to face these problems and once I have gotten my answers I need to make a final decision. Do I believe this is the one true gospel of Christ and do I want to carry on being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.